I was first introduced to yoga when I was around the age of 13/14 by an older relative who was a yoga/meditation teacher. At the time, I was as much intrigued by yoga as I was in awe of this relative; I was struck by the way this person carried themselves: always so calm, collected, and kind they seemed to me – I wanted to be like them. And so, I went to a yoga/meditation course they were organizing. I don’t remember how long the course was or what we were taught, but I knew that I wasn’t always feeling ‘calm, collected, and kind’.
Then, again, when I was 18/19 years old, during my undergraduate years, I occasionally went to the free yoga classes offered by my university’s wellness centre. For some context, I should mention that I never really played or liked any sports or used the gym, so yoga and walking were the only form of exercise I did then and for most of my adult life, really. But to be fair, I don’t think I went to yoga for the exercise benefits. In my mind, yogis were these people with balanced minds and bodies who were unbothered by most, if not all, things. I wanted to be like that, and of course, I also thought it was super cool to be ultra-super flexible. So, my goals were to feel unbothered by things and to become more flexible.
It has been 10 years since, and fortunately, my goals have changed. For one thing, I don’t want to feel unbothered by everything all the time. Second, I’m learning to accept all my feelings and emotions as valid and understand that no feeling or emotion is permanent. Third, understanding yourself and being a better version of yourself is a constant, unending process, unlike how I used to think of it as something you achieve at the end of the process. Fourth, I understand that moving my body (ie., exercising, dancing, hiking, etc) is intimately connected with my mental well-being. Fifth, yoga is one of many somatic practices that help you develop awareness, stay present, self-regulate, feel whole, find balance, feel connected, know ourselves, love ourselves, and be empowered.
Now I practice yoga almost every day at home thanks to YouTube and all the yogis on it. I also started doing strength and cardio exercises. The lockdown at the beginning of this pandemic and the pandemic in general helped me realize that my health and well-being is my own responsibility. Looking back, I was searching for the calm and grace that I felt was missing from my body in yoga to only be taught by yoga that those are the things you find within yourself by paying attention to the present moment and being attentive to your body’s needs.